TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AMONG UNIVERSITY STUDENTS.

Is it bad to be in a relationship while in university? I guess No. Everybody wants to be loved and everybody wants to love back.It feels good in the beginning till the relationship turns out to be toxic. But a genuine relationship is good while in campus. But a toxic one is not only dangerous but also deadly.
Kindly, don't hold on someone you don't love or one you know is not meant to be with you. If you don't love someone, let them go.

SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
1. lying becomes a norm in your relatioonship. Cheating and lying will dissolve all the trust and it will never be the same. A relationship without trust turns healthy people into  insecure people.
2. Every relationship has its ups and downs. In a toxic relationship, nothing gets worked out because any conflict ends in an argument.
3. In a toxic relationship, they are always unmet needs. Your needs are mocked and ignored. If you attempt to talk on what you need, it ends up in a fight. Unmet needs will always feed resentment. A toxic relationship will not always meet all the required need of a genuine relationship.
4.In a toxic relationship, all the love and effort will come from you. You will be the one forcing things to happen. When you are in such a relationship where all the compromise comes from you, you need to leave. Forcing things is lonely and exhausting.

DANGERS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.
Leads to suicide. Once you are in love, you feel so good and you want the whole world to know about it. But time flares, everything goes sour and all you are thinking is committing suicide because of an heartbreak. For instance, a Meru National polytechnic student, Fridah Makena, commuting suicide last year because his boyfriend,Kelvoh cheated on him www.nation.co.ke.
A student from Chuka university hanged himself back in 2018 and left a suicidal note indicating that he had done so because he had found his girlfriend on bed with another man. https://www.standardmedia.co.ke.

But now in reality, will you kill yourself because of someone you love? You commit suicide, and your partner is now left and moves on peacefully. Your parents will never get a prince or a princes like you. Why don't you walk out of it instead?? Who said that he is the only man or woman you can date?

2. Murder.
Murder cases among university lovers or ex lovers are in the rise. Ivy Wangechi a Moi university student was murdered by a man who was alleged to be her boyfriend just because she failed to pick his called.https://www.nation.co.ke
A Pwani university student, Naomi Chepkomoi was stabbed several times in the neck, breasts and back by her baby dady because she refused to settle issues with him. https://www standard.co.ke .
This are just but a few cases of love triangles gone sour. Well, should you hold on till it comes to a point somebody stabs you to death? Once you sense a sign that your relationship is toxic, the earlier the better, walk away from it.
3. Destroys self esteem and confidence. Any toxic relationship will breed negativity hence poisoning your self concept which will end up ruining your life. It makes you believe that you are not worthy even to be loved hence lowering your esteem.
4. Makes you loose the meaning of love. The reason most of university students end up dating the same gender as theirs is because of heartbreaks. An heartbroken lady will think that all men are the same and end up becoming a lesbian. Being in a toxic relationship will make you loose the meaning of love. Its also the reason ladies will date old men in the name of sponsors. Because they have been made believe that their is no love in university men.

HOW TO GET OUT OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
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1. Letting it go. If it  was not meant to be, let it go. If it was yours, it will come back. Its hard to let someone that maybe you love but it will be harder being in a toxic relationship.
2.Stop waiting for your partner to change. Unless he accepts that whatever your partner is doing is wrong, then don't wait for them to change. They might promise to change but they will never change. If you see signs of a toxic relationship, don't wait for them to change.
3.Accept that it will hurt. Its true it will hurt. But it is worthy. Let it hurt till it can't anymore. Cry till you can't cry anymore. Then start afresh. And move on. You are worthy to be treated with love and respect. So don't worry.
4. Pray. Before you begin any relationship, ask for God's guidance. Pray for your relationship. Even if it does not work, pray for the strength to let it go.

Thank you for reading.
Mercy Nyamu.